I produced this song one day after having a terrifying panic attack at night after falling asleep and forgetting how to breathe which led me to wake up chocking. It progressed into a spiral of worrying thoughts that something might be wrong with me. It was 3am and being incredibly tired, I attempted to fall back asleep again. I tried but the same thing happened again, I woke up gasping for air. My inability to keep breathing as I'm diving into slumber land led me to have all sorts of irrational fears of somebody standing in the hallway, being under my bed, a ghost or evil spirits sitting on me etc. My imagination started going absolute ham and there was literally no end to the wild things I thought could occur to me in the dark. The last time I felt this scared and helpless in the dark was when I was a child/teen and since I didn’t wan’t to fully wake myself up again (i.e. turn on all the lights) I just sat on my bed. When my housemate turned the key in the door, which I had previously locked due to being home alone, I was fully sent into shock mode and started crying and shivering like something deeply traumatic had just happened to me. All I wanted was some familiar arms around me, a hug, human interaction, comfort, my mama, to feel less alone. Over the years I have collected several techniques to calm me down such as breathing exercises, writing down what's troubling me or calling someone I love - sometimes all you need is a friend or family member talking to you or giving you a warm hug. Just hearing their voice, especially during these times can get you out of a state. But sometimes that just isn’t available. And the only person you can turn to often times, is yourself. That’s all you’ll ever truly have.
Returning to one’s self, something we’ve always known but oftentimes forgotten how to.

I wanted the song to be upbeat, not at all scary like I was feeling - the opposite. The creation of this song was like a meditation for myself, lifting the weight off of me.